All about supported birth with Doula Emily Smith
I first met Doula Emily Smith in Spring 2019 when I was launching Healthy Home Pediatrics. I was eager to meet other local business owners. She was glowingly pregnant and we had a great time chatting over delicious food at a Capitol Hill eatery. I was so inspired by her enthusiasm and candor. Fast forward several years and our worlds intertwine repeatedly. I selected her partner Jacquelin Knighton as my doula and continue to partner with their sister companies Doulas of Capitol Hill and Doulas of PG County.
Here Emily shares her story about becoming a doula and her work to help parents feel empowered and supported.
First, let’s start with you sharing what a Doula is and what your average day looks like?
A doula is a person who supports birthing people and families during pregnancy, during labor and on the birth-day, and in the postpartum period which is the first year after birth. We provide physical support, emotional support, and informational or educational support, which is non-medical, but in collaboration with a birthing persons partner and health care providers (nurses, OBGYNs, midwives, pediatricians). And while doulas may have a stereotype that we are only for a certain “type” of birth, we actually support all birthing choices including epidural, unmedicated, and cesarean birth, with 100% nonjudgement! Similarly, a postpartum doula supports all parents and their choices without any judgement. So if the goal is breastfeeding, formula feeding, or combination; scheduled sleep, sleep training, or attachment parenting, we support all of it, to help each family to have a positive experience.
A doula lives an on-call lifestyle, always making plans but with the proviso or conditional statement of “unless I’m at a birth.” We might have a 9am-5pm scheduled postpartum visit with a client but then receive a call from a different client at 2am that it’s “baby-time.” So, with a doula agency like Doulas of Capitol Hill, we have a solid backup plan for all the what-if’s that may come up in life, allowing both our professionals and our clients to be fully supported.
How did you know becoming a Doula was the path for you?
I became a doula after my oldest was born in 2007. I did not have a doula but I did choose to work with midwives at a freestanding birth center, had my husband there as a great support, and two best friends. It was soon after my daughter’s birth that I saw a documentary called “The Business of Being Born.” The film showing was hosted by a doula company and it was then that I first thought to myself, I could support other people to have a positive birth experience, even if that doesn’t look exactly like mine was, but to help folks to feel heard and supported, to have the option of informed consent and informed refusal of interventions and bodily autonomy, to offer emotional encouragement and information when the going gets tough, to help partners to have another person to lean on for moments they need to take a break, eat a bite of food, or take a nap, and to provide a personalized level of care in collaboration with the health care providers. I remember after I gave birth to my daughter, as I was getting freshened up to leave the birth center, the assistant was towel drying my shampoo bottle and I thought to myself THAT is what doula support could look like. Such a small detail in someone's story can make all the difference in how they remember their important day!
What was your path to becoming the founder/ owner of your business?
Doulas of Capitol Hill (DCH) launched in 2016 and then in 2018 we launched our sister agency Doulas of Prince George’s County (DPG). Before that I was a solo practitioner providing birth and postpartum care, placenta encapsulation, and childbirth education. We started DCH because we wanted to offer more to birthing people than one person can offer alone. DCH and then later DPG became two of the DMVs leading doula agencies offering an extensive menu of concierge services beyond doula support. We provide lactation consultants, prenatal and postnatal massage therapy, fertility and pre-conception doulas, car seat installation and education, private education, birthing and breathing classes, maternity, birth, and newborn photography, overnight newborn care, and one of my favorites, personal chef services! Really, we are a one-stop-shop for anything pregnant and new parents could need as they grow their families! In addition to all of these services for families we have an absolutely STELLAR team of professionals who are leaders in the field, going the extra mile to provide anti-racist, inclusive, and equitable care to families and to the community.
What do you wish parents knew about your services?
I wish that parents knew that
a) doulas are for all families *rainbow emoji* to have a supported, empowered story, that
b) racism and bias *can* impact the pregnancy, birth, and postpartum/feeding experience, and having a doula is one evidence-based way to combat institutional racism and bias in health care, and
c) that we do not replace a partner nor are we the same thing as a midwife. We could NEVER replace the partner but we can certainly enhance the role of the partner so they can also be supported while their partner gives birth. Nor are we midwives, as the midwife is a member of the medical team who cares for the health and safety of the birthing person and baby, like the nurse and the doctor. A doula is entirely non-medical, but equally valuable member of the care team, and is a dedicated person to care for the emotional support, physical comfort, and informational resources of the birthing person and their partner.
What are things you say over and over to your patients that you wish could be shared with the masses?
During pregnancy, I tell clients that babies don’t read calendars, so having someone on-call from the day of hire to answer your questions, provide resources, and be a sounding board for all things pregnancy, birth, and new baby-related is what we do. So whenever the baby is ready to go, so is your doula. During the birth-day I remind parents to breathe, to take it one step at a time, and that I will be there to help them use their B.R.A.I.N (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, what does their Intuition say, and what if we do Nothing). During the postpartum period I remind people we aren’t SUPPOSED to do it all alone.
I don’t believe in work life balance, but what are some of the ways you find harmony in your work and life?
I’m the mother of four children ages 13, 11, 7, and 1. I also run two businesses. I don’t feel very qualified to answer this question about work/life harmony. Haha. But I can tell you one piece of advice that someone gave me when I was expecting baby #3 and I’ve carried it with me as a mantra in life but also in parenting. “In each new stage, dwell.” What that means to me is that we often get in the habit of looking ahead at the next big thing. When they are sleepy newborns we can’t wait until they are awake and smile at us, when they are sitting up, we look forward to crawling or walking. It’s totally normal to be excited for those important milestones, especially when the days with small ones can feel so very long and often difficult. But the saying goes, the days are long but the years are short. By allowing ourselves to dwell in this present moment, this stage, even if it’s difficult or uncomfortable, that is a practice that brings me a lot of peace as a parent and as an entrepreneur.
What is something you wish every parent or family did?
I can’t say what every parent or family should do. I can say that for my family, a necessary mindset as our family grew larger was to let go of some things. “How do you do it all” people marvel at me. ‘Lowered expectations,’ I say! When I was a mom of 2 and “just” a solo doula, I used to cook amazing, healthy meals for my family. I hand made my holiday cards. As a mom of 4, my expectations for my 24 hours are more relaxed and I’m content to feed takeout pizza or heat up fish sticks for dinner. When we welcomed baby #4 we skipped most of the baby gear and instead focused on a postpartum doula and hiring a house cleaning service. Ok, so I guess lowered expectations, and if you are able, ask for help from professionals.
Are there any recent and worrying trends that you are seeing in your field?
With the COVID-19 pandemic the area hospitals have vacillated in their policies on how many supporting people in L&D. Before COVID doulas were welcomed at all area hospitals in the DMV. But now that we face a difficult winter ahead with the pandemic, hospitals are again resorting to the same measures we saw in the spring and limiting number of people, considering doulas to be a “visitor.” I’m bothered that doulas are still seen as an optional member of the care team, given the resounding evidence for continuous, professional labor support from someone who is not a family member or a member of the health care team. However, I also get it. Our country’s response has not supported health care providers to be safe to do their jobs, and Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs are different in the pre- and post-/current COVID world. The anxiety, stress, and safety of the hospital working environment are contrasted with the emotional, psychological, and social needs of birthing people.
What online resources do you frequently share with patients?
DCH and DPG have several resource guides and resources in our password protected client portal which include mental health resource guides, resource guides for LGBTQIA parents, resource guides for black moms in the DMV, a comfort techniques video, feeding journaling prompts, and community resources to many of our affiliates and community partners!
If folks want to get in touch with you, how should they do so?
The contact form on the website is great! I also love our 20 Point Profile as a wonderful way for us to help you narrow down your doula selection. We consider the experience, personality traits, or specific background or skills you want in a birth doula or postpartum doula and provide you with your top 3 matches, saving you lots of time and energy as you search for such an important person to be with you through this personal, celebratory time in your life! Also, Instagram is a great way to stay connected to the news changes happening within our agency. We have lots of fun giveaway and guest hosts. Hope to hear from you soon!